My story

TITLE: Saturday with DAD

Planning

1.waking up at 10:00

2.mum went to Auckland

3.went to countdown

4.ate maccas

5.made a pizza

Writing

Wake up wake up!!! what?. I walk into my mum she wasn't in her room i seen that the car was gone. Justin whispered to that she drive to Auckland and talk my sister to see her boyfriend and her friend.

At 12 something my dad took me and Juztin to countdown and buy things for our pizza i stand in the with my brother.My dad came back to the car with all the staff for the pizzas we drived back home.

Marking

Ideas	Points	Comment
	2	ok work need more details.
Miss Baker	2	The story has a few simple ideas.There is not much details about the idea.